This is some of my favorite X-Files memorabilia

Vlog about arts and crafts. Special appearances by my kitties! If you have an idea for what I should paint on a hat, leave it in your comments.

Vlog about an omelet, my cat Rummy, and awesome socks.

I Take this vlog for a ride.

This is my second Vlog, complete with cats, cows and the unknown! and a shout out to Chad

So I thought I would hop on the Vlog train. This is my first vlog. I am no longer a vlog-virgin lol.

1. Put your iTunes (or any other media player you may have) on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 friends who might enjoy doing the meme as well as the person you got the memo from.

I Tag EVERYONE!!!!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
"Worth Dying For" -Rise Against (apparently its more then okay)

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
"The X-Files Theme Song" - Mark Snow (LOL soooo true LMAO)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"I'll Stick Around" - Foo Fighters (Wow that makes sense)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
"Purple Toupee" They Might Be Gaints (and what a grand purpose it is)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
"On the Outside" Sheryl Crow

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
"Let's Go, Come On" -Miguel

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
"My Only Enemy" -American Hi-Fi

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
"Have it All" -Foo Fighters

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"What Will Happen, Will Happen" - Lemon Demon

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
"Maybe, This Time" -OK GO

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
"My Evil Friend" -Prime STH

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Why Do you Love Me" -Garbage (LMAO)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"Set Free" -Katie Grey

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"She's A Rebel" Green Day

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"Caring is Creepy" -The Shins

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
"Superhero Girl"-Eve 6

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"Punk *ss B*tch" Wheatus (shh! don't tell anyone)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"Deserter" -Splashdown

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
"Blvd Of Broken Dreams" -Green Day (that is)

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
"Unmarked Helicopters" - Soul Coughing (crazy way to die)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
"Pandora" -Splashdown

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Kitten is Angry" -Lemon Demon (yes it does)

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
"Left of Center" Suzanne Vega

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
"My Poor Brain" -Foo Fighters (LMAO)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
"Older" -They Might Be Giants

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
"Believe" -Prime STH

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
"Somewhere I Belong" -Linkin Park (dunno that I could change that)

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
"Penitent" -Suzanne Vega (feeling regret or sorrow would hurt haha)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
"Could've Gone Mad"-Poe

I haven't posted in forever, a ton has happend, some of which I do not want to get into write now. If I could sum it up I guess it has to do with parties, family friends, stress, motorcycle accidents, reclusiveness, arguments and a mess of other things. I am so tired of my life right now, any one wanna trade?
I haven't been much of a people person these days, whether what I mentioned up there is the cause or not I am unsure but I have been a lot more happy with me as my own company then others. I mean my man is around, but he is easy to deal with, so is my roommate. neither of them really expect anything out of me, not that other people do, I guess it just feels that way.
I have been doing alot more art, I have been painting masks and jewelry boxes, and they are looking awesome. I might post pictures when I am done.
I also finally wrote an outline for a novel I have been working on for forever, YAY for me.

I wrote this poem a while back when I was at a party, everyone was drinking and by the end of the night I was the only one sober. I was able to watch and observe which inspired this...

Wow I have got some really great friends! I could get used to this.
Today I hung out with my good friend steph and had a really nice time catching up and relaxing, and when I got home I saw this superman gift bag on the floor, I ask derek what it was and he tells me that our friends (from our gurps group) got us gifts, just because. and the greatest part is that they got me a card, it was and X-Files card and when you open it, it plays the theme song!!! Soooo awesome!
Wow, I am so taken aback by this. I guess because I grew up not celebrating birthdays, I am not used to this kind of thing, I have never had friends collaborate to get me things, I never really had more then one friend at a time that liked me enough, or cared enough to do something like this. I have had people conspiracize against me and intervent me because they didn't like that I had panic attacks...(I am not even going into that one!) I mean I have thrown my fare share of parties, went all out for friends that never gave me anything in return, so I stopped expecting that I would ever get anything, this was a wonderful surprise, I got choked up.
Tomorrow I plan to hang out with them and I am going to bake cookies and brownies to thank everyone.

For the first time in a long time I feel liked again, and it is really nice.

X-Style by ~gaiascully on deviantART

I put this on the X forum but I thought I would put it in my journal as well to keep track of it. I apologies to those who are seeing this twice!

X-files on the brain!

Anyhoots, Its already one in the afternoon and I have been up for 21 hours now, urg I am tired why am I not asleep??? I dont know insomnia is a b*tch. I am going to get a new comp soon YAY, what I should really say is I am getting the parts soon. I know people who are gonna help me put it together so I can make a 5k comp for 1.2k. its gonna be SWEET!
Ok I have something embarrassing to admit, I am currently listing to the Backstreet Boys, shoot me in the face I know, but I loved them when I was 12 and those were good times. Plus incomplete gives me goosebumps. guilty pleasure dont hate me :P
I am in desperate need of photoshop, all I have is that stupid photoimpression and its killing me. It is taking me days to put basic color on a drawing, its sad.
I am too out of it to think of anything useful or remotely relevant so I am gonna end there.
have a great day :)

So I am gonna try to work on something, I have always had a tendency to set the bar far to high for myself in almost everything I do. I am a perfectionist. There are so many things that I want to do, and I often feel under-accomplished. Derek told me he thinks that I work far to hard on one thing and that it might be better to work a little easier on many things. In most cases I would chose quality over quantity but this time I think that the reverse is needed. Like with my art, instead of spending forever trying to get the hand or mouth just right, I could instead work on several sketches there by actually getting more practice then just perfecting something I probably don't need to mess with as much as I think I do. I just need to realize that someone is still gonna like it even if it isn't perfect, and as much as I would like to be one of those people that doesn't care about what other people think, I do care I live for acknowledgment, may not be healthy but at least I am honest.
You cant get better at anything unless you keep trying, weather it be art, writing, singing, beading, or playing violin I need to just do it, a lot. So what that I don't know which one of those I would most like to excel in, yeah its gonna be harder if I spread myself thinly along everything I want to do, but I just don't know which make me happiest or which people will respond to more (writing and beading so far). So its time for something different, for once I am going to try to NOT live up to my standards and see how that works out for me.

but wish me luck because I have never done so before, so I am not sure that I will know how.

What's Your High School Stereotype? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Drama nerd Drama nerd 69% Goth 44% Punk/Rebel 38% Loner 38% Geek 31% Ghetto gangsta 25% Stoner 19% Prep/Jock/Cheerleader 6%

DO do do! I have no idea what I am gonna do today! I am not used to being up this early, I woke up at noon, I usually sleep then. So the sun light is bugging me, I am so part vampire or something haha.
My kitties are being mischevious today.
Maybe I will see if Tanya wants to come over, I am not only getting her into Anime, Fushigi Yuggi is hella addicting, but also the almighty X-Files. The other day she said, man since there is a movie coming out I outta catch up, thats where I started rubbing my hands together and cackling! " MWAhahahaha" I am so more then happy to introduce someone to the greatest show that ever lived!
I also love re-watching it, because once you get to the ninth season you have to remind yourself what happened in the first one, and I personally never get tired of it.
I finally went grocery shopping, isnt that EXCITING?!
It is for me, I love a freshly stocked house, and a fridge full of pepsi hahaha! my crack!
Is it just me or do Foo Fighters just never get old, I am listing to skin and bones at the moment and I had to stop typing so I could do a little dance *dance dance*
I am hoping that today will be a good day, I think it will.....wait was I just optimistic??? thats outta character :P

hello hello!
not like anyone reads this but its good to write anyway!
well I have been watching a lot of vlogs lately, makes me want a camcorder that much more! but theres the whole loss of a roommate deal so extra rent, no fun! Everyone is being stressful, my mom called earlier and snapped at me about something I had nothing to do with, she said sorry later, but I just did not need that today boo!
Anyhoots, happier things... I am trying to write and draw more, speaking of which my deviant art is at http://gaiascully.deviantart.com/ and more importantly (just cause my art could use some work) my poetry is at http://allpoetry.com/gaiascully. so if anyone cares, now they know!
I havent slept since yesterday, I am a crazy person I swear.
but its cool, I spent all night talking with Tanya (again hehe), we are both such chatter boxes neither of us can ever stop! hahaha
We are gonna make movies together one of these days, we will write them and make our role playing group act in them with us MWAHAHAHAHA, they have no choice!
I have been making friends which is soooo awesome I am proud of myself!
If anyone does read this, you have too much time on your hands and I love you for it....
...on a boat!

PANTS!!!!!!

soooo,
I want a video camera!!! I am soo broke, but I have all these Ideas for videos. I want to make some to my poems and lyrics, I think that would be cool, that way people might actually hear my poetry and I can get some feedback. its all about presentation, and even though I think that I am a decent writer, people would much rather watch a show then read a poem, boo. I hope that I will be able to get a camcorder and a better comp so I can do all kinds of cool things, if anyone has any suggestions about good but not, break the bank, brands of camcorders let me know.
I am gonna go RP( role play, gurps, like d&d but way cooler) with my friends in a bit, I am such a nerd. My character is a crazy lolita girl who is Tanya's twin and we get into the world via a magic book! its gonna be fun! its John Marks first time as a GM so it should be interesting.
DUDE my alarm just went off, just incase I fell asleep, its 6:45 in the afternoon BTW I have such weird sleep habits, but anyhoo, I thought it was dereks alarm going off for the morning. he gets up at like 9:00 so I was really confused for a second. TIME WARP!
I am a crazy person!
the end hahaha

I keep thinking about life, because I cant sleep, and that is really the worst time to contemplate it so of course I cant seem to stop myself.
I just keep wondering why it has been so hard for me to be productive. I want so much more. and I feel like I was meant to do something great, but if that is infact true then why have there been so many obsticals along the way. am I really just using that as an excuse though? I mean I cant help but thinking that I would have been an amazing violinist right now if Chicago hadnt of happened. but is that true? should I have just excepted that I had to see my abusive father again and that my mom may have gone to jail, and had to live with that foster parent who hated me, and fight for nine months to get back 3 days before highschool started. should I have just picked the violin back up and try to live my life as if none of that had ever happened, some how get past the social anxiety and ended up actually graduating, instead of dropping out and thus by toss all of that potential out the window. I cant help but wonder wear I would be if those nine months hadnt of happened. but the simple fact is that they did and I have to live with that, and its sad that 7 years later I cant state that I am over it, because I am not.
I feel like so many years have been eaten away from my life and that I am just sitting here watching the rest of them go by because I am to afraid and ashamed of picking up where I should have been 7 years ago now.
after chicago, I have not since been the life of a party, or had a best friend, everything that used to come so easily has gotten considerably harder. and I am sitting here crying in front of a computer because there is no one to talk to except my husband, who already has enough stress in his life and will only get frustrated that he cant fix it.
and I a getting a new therapist but after 15 years I am starting to think that there isnt a professional out there smart enough to help me deal with what ever that crap I have.
my brain is broken, and I am not helping it by feeling sorry for myself.
its just really f***ing hard to deal with.