The Redhead in the Corner

X-Phile Vlog part 1: Memorabilia

2009-05-11T23:12:52Z

This is some of my favorite X-Files memorabilia

Craft Vlog

2009-04-14T18:39:28Z

Vlog about arts and crafts. Special appearances by my kitties! If you have an idea for what I should paint on a hat, leave it in your comments.

Omelet Vlog

2009-03-25T00:50:16Z

Vlog about an omelet, my cat Rummy, and awesome socks.

Vlog on Wheels

2009-03-22T07:48:34Z

I Take this vlog for a ride.

Adventure Vlog, and a Cow

2009-03-21T02:12:46Z

This is my second Vlog, complete with cats, cows and the unknown! and a shout out to Chad

My first Vlog

2009-03-20T01:51:43Z

So I thought I would hop on the Vlog train. This is my first vlog. I am no longer a vlog-virgin lol.

Could've Gone Mad

2008-12-20T03:42:52Z

1. Put your iTunes (or any other media player you may have) on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 friends who might enjoy doing the meme as well as the person you got the memo from.

I Tag EVERYONE!!!!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
"Worth Dying For" -Rise Against (apparently its more then okay)

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
"The X-Files Theme Song" - Mark Snow (LOL soooo true LMAO)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"I'll Stick Around" - Foo Fighters (Wow that makes sense)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
"Purple Toupee" They Might Be Gaints (and what a grand purpose it is)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
"On the Outside" Sheryl Crow

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
"Let's Go, Come On" -Miguel

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
"My Only Enemy" -American Hi-Fi

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
"Have it All" -Foo Fighters

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"What Will Happen, Will Happen" - Lemon Demon

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
"Maybe, This Time" -OK GO

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
"My Evil Friend" -Prime STH

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Why Do you Love Me" -Garbage (LMAO)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"Set Free" -Katie Grey

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"She's A Rebel" Green Day

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"Caring is Creepy" -The Shins

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
"Superhero Girl"-Eve 6

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"Punk *ss B*tch" Wheatus (shh! don't tell anyone)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"Deserter" -Splashdown

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
"Blvd Of Broken Dreams" -Green Day (that is)

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
"Unmarked Helicopters" - Soul Coughing (crazy way to die)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
"Pandora" -Splashdown

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Kitten is Angry" -Lemon Demon (yes it does)

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
"Left of Center" Suzanne Vega

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
"My Poor Brain" -Foo Fighters (LMAO)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
"Older" -They Might Be Giants

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
"Believe" -Prime STH

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
"Somewhere I Belong" -Linkin Park (dunno that I could change that)

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
"Penitent" -Suzanne Vega (feeling regret or sorrow would hurt haha)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
"Could've Gone Mad"-Poe

happenings

2008-10-14T11:25:16Z

I haven't posted in forever, a ton has happend, some of which I do not want to get into write now. If I could sum it up I guess it has to do with parties, family friends, stress, motorcycle accidents, reclusiveness, arguments and a mess of other things. I am so tired of my life right now, any one wanna trade?
I haven't been much of a people person these days, whether what I mentioned up there is the cause or not I am unsure but I have been a lot more happy with me as my own company then others. I mean my man is around, but he is easy to deal with, so is my roommate. neither of them really expect anything out of me, not that other people do, I guess it just feels that way.
I have been doing alot more art, I have been painting masks and jewelry boxes, and they are looking awesome. I might post pictures when I am done.
I also finally wrote an outline for a novel I have been working on for forever, YAY for me.

Intoxicated (poem)

2008-07-01T11:34:25Z

I wrote this poem a while back when I was at a party, everyone was drinking and by the end of the night I was the only one sober. I was able to watch and observe which inspired this...

Intoxicated

The influences of the mind
as your defenses weaken
it gets harder and harder to find
and sense of reason
It's easy to talk and difficult to listen
as you unknowingly lower every inhibition
it becomes almost impossible to say no
...to anything but stopping

people like me....I am surprised

2008-06-29T13:30:57Z

Wow I have got some really great friends! I could get used to this.
Today I hung out with my good friend steph and had a really nice time catching up and relaxing, and when I got home I saw this superman gift bag on the floor, I ask derek what it was and he tells me that our friends (from our gurps group) got us gifts, just because. and the greatest part is that they got me a card, it was and X-Files card and when you open it, it plays the theme song!!! Soooo awesome!
Wow, I am so taken aback by this. I guess because I grew up not celebrating birthdays, I am not used to this kind of thing, I have never had friends collaborate to get me things, I never really had more then one friend at a time that liked me enough, or cared enough to do something like this. I have had people conspiracize against me and intervent me because they didn't like that I had panic attacks...(I am not even going into that one!) I mean I have thrown my fare share of parties, went all out for friends that never gave me anything in return, so I stopped expecting that I would ever get anything, this was a wonderful surprise, I got choked up.
Tomorrow I plan to hang out with them and I am going to bake cookies and brownies to thank everyone.

For the first time in a long time I feel liked again, and it is really nice.

I am TIRED ZzZzZz

2008-06-05T20:37:17Z

X-Style by ~gaiascully on deviant ART

I put this on the X forum but I thought I would put it in my journal as well to keep track of it. I apologies to those who are seeing this twice!

X-files on the brain!

Anyhoots, Its already one in the afternoon and I have been up for 21 hours now, urg I am tired why am I not asleep??? I dont know insomnia is a b*tch. I am going to get a new comp soon YAY, what I should really say is I am getting the parts soon. I know people who are gonna help me put it together so I can make a 5k comp for 1.2k. its gonna be SWEET!
Ok I have something embarrassing to admit, I am currently listing to the Backstreet Boys, shoot me in the face I know, but I loved them when I was 12 and those were good times. Plus incomplete gives me goosebumps. guilty pleasure dont hate me :P
I am in desperate need of photoshop, all I have is that stupid photoimpression and its killing me. It is taking me days to put basic color on a drawing, its sad.
I am too out of it to think of anything useful or remotely relevant so I am gonna end there.
have a great day :)

Lowering the High Bar!

2008-06-02T14:24:48Z

So I am gonna try to work on something, I have always had a tendency to set the bar far to high for myself in almost everything I do. I am a perfectionist. There are so many things that I want to do, and I often feel under-accomplished. Derek told me he thinks that I work far to hard on one thing and that it might be better to work a little easier on many things. In most cases I would chose quality over quantity but this time I think that the reverse is needed. Like with my art, instead of spending forever trying to get the hand or mouth just right, I could instead work on several sketches there by actually getting more practice then just perfecting something I probably don't need to mess with as much as I think I do. I just need to realize that someone is still gonna like it even if it isn't perfect, and as much as I would like to be one of those people that doesn't care about what other people think, I do care I live for acknowledgment, may not be healthy but at least I am honest.
You cant get better at anything unless you keep trying, weather it be art, writing, singing, beading, or playing violin I need to just do it, a lot. So what that I don't know which one of those I would most like to excel in, yeah its gonna be harder if I spread myself thinly along everything I want to do, but I just don't know which make me happiest or which people will respond to more (writing and beading so far). So its time for something different, for once I am going to try to NOT live up to my standards and see how that works out for me.

but wish me luck because I have never done so before, so I am not sure that I will know how.

widget

2008-05-11T23:28:49Z

What's Your High School Stereotype?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Drama nerd

Drama nerd

69%

Goth

44%

Punk/Rebel

38%

Loner

38%

Geek

31%

Ghetto gangsta

25%

Stoner

19%

Prep/Jock/Cheerleader

X-Files Survay

2008-05-08T22:05:47Z

1.

Whats your take on the 2012 alien invasion?
yahhhh *gasp* (I think that sums it up)

2.

If you could act out any ep what one would it be?
Im thinking Pilot or Bad Blood, mostly because I already know all the words

3.

Do you think Scully tried any of that tail hook crap again?
maybe

4.

Do you think the XF2 title is a lil cheesy?
not at all, if fact it totally gives me the warm fuzzies

5.

Your most overused phrase from XF is?
The Truth Is Out There.
fallowed closely by:
Trust No One
and then of course the title for the new film:
I Want To Believe

6.

How many people have you brainwashed to like the show?
LOTS! I once hooked a family of 4 and that when I was only 12, imagine
the damage that I have done since MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

-------------------------------------------The Or's---------------------------------------------------
1.

Kersh or Skinner?
Honestly does anyone like Kersh blah! Skinner hands down! he is a total BadA$$

2.

Non Believer Or Believer?
...I want to believe. (sorry I had to, it was calling to me)
no I think its possible.

3.

Faith or logic?
Both have their place, and I think they can work hand in hand.

4.

Mulder or Scully?
Ah poo, I get asked this all the time so I am just going to quote myself.
"Scully for the fact that she made the greatest female role model: strong, intelligent, and fearlessly dedicated. Mulder not only for his good looks :P but his unwavering belief, and endless wit." -me earlier

5.

Doggett or Reyes?
Well Doggett is kinda like that big brother you always wanted, doesnt always know whats going on but is willing to help anyway, and Reyes is like that friend that will always listen to your problems and wacky ideas, so they are both pretty neat!

6.

Mythology or monster of the week?
first and foremost Mythology, but motw is close behind, cant have one without the other, its like a jelly sandwich without peanut butter, or a pizza without cheese, if they are not together you miss out on the whole.

7.

Bad blood or Hollywood A.D.?
gonna have to go with Bad Blood, it the one of my all time favorites.
(not that I dont like Hollywood A.D. though)

8.

Fire Walker or Ice?
thats a tough one, they both have similar characteristics but also their own originality. I am indecisive!

9.

Kill Switch or First Person Shooter?
FPS was funner but Kill Switch had a more intriguing plot...but really who cares because Scully kicked some MAJOR @ss while saving Mulders in both of those episodes!
(but really now, when doesnt she :P )

10.

Unusual suspect or three of kind?
now how is that fair...I guess Three of a Kind, the faces Scully makes are priceless!

11.

Bill Scully or Melissa Scully?
Melissa all the way! Bill is such a prick! Too bad Krycek didnt get him instead!

a Good Day? no not the song

2008-03-26T22:34:49Z

DO do do! I have no idea what I am gonna do today! I am not used to being up this early, I woke up at noon, I usually sleep then. So the sun light is bugging me, I am so part vampire or something haha.
My kitties are being mischevious today.
Maybe I will see if Tanya wants to come over, I am not only getting her into Anime, Fushigi Yuggi is hella addicting, but also the almighty X-Files. The other day she said, man since there is a movie coming out I outta catch up, thats where I started rubbing my hands together and cackling! " MWAhahahaha" I am so more then happy to introduce someone to the greatest show that ever lived!
I also love re-watching it, because once you get to the ninth season you have to remind yourself what happened in the first one, and I personally never get tired of it.
I finally went grocery shopping, isnt that EXCITING?!
It is for me, I love a freshly stocked house, and a fridge full of pepsi hahaha! my crack!
Is it just me or do Foo Fighters just never get old, I am listing to skin and bones at the moment and I had to stop typing so I could do a little dance *dance dance*
I am hoping that today will be a good day, I think it will.....wait was I just optimistic??? thats outta character :P

CRAZY is me :P

2008-03-24T21:49:32Z

hello hello!
not like anyone reads this but its good to write anyway!
well I have been watching a lot of vlogs lately, makes me want a camcorder that much more! but theres the whole loss of a roommate deal so extra rent, no fun! Everyone is being stressful, my mom called earlier and snapped at me about something I had nothing to do with, she said sorry later, but I just did not need that today boo!
Anyhoots, happier things... I am trying to write and draw more, speaking of which my deviant art is at http://gaiascully.deviantart.com/ and more importantly (just cause my art could use some work) my poetry is at http://allpoetry.com/gaiascully. so if anyone cares, now they know!
I havent slept since yesterday, I am a crazy person I swear.
but its cool, I spent all night talking with Tanya (again hehe), we are both such chatter boxes neither of us can ever stop! hahaha
We are gonna make movies together one of these days, we will write them and make our role playing group act in them with us MWAHAHAHAHA, they have no choice!
I have been making friends which is soooo awesome I am proud of myself!
If anyone does read this, you have too much time on your hands and I love you for it....
...on a boat!

PANTS!!!!!!

TIME WARP

2008-03-24T02:03:41Z

soooo,
I want a video camera!!! I am soo broke, but I have all these Ideas for videos. I want to make some to my poems and lyrics, I think that would be cool, that way people might actually hear my poetry and I can get some feedback. its all about presentation, and even though I think that I am a decent writer, people would much rather watch a show then read a poem, boo. I hope that I will be able to get a camcorder and a better comp so I can do all kinds of cool things, if anyone has any suggestions about good but not, break the bank, brands of camcorders let me know.
I am gonna go RP( role play, gurps, like d&d but way cooler) with my friends in a bit, I am such a nerd. My character is a crazy lolita girl who is Tanya's twin and we get into the world via a magic book! its gonna be fun! its John Marks first time as a GM so it should be interesting.
DUDE my alarm just went off, just incase I fell asleep, its 6:45 in the afternoon BTW I have such weird sleep habits, but anyhoo, I thought it was dereks alarm going off for the morning. he gets up at like 9:00 so I was really confused for a second. TIME WARP!
I am a crazy person!
the end hahaha

I can't Fly

2008-03-24T01:51:42Z

So I have been trying out new poetry styles, and I thought I would take a stab at abstract! Since abstract can mean so many different things I am not sure weather I did it correctly, or if there even is a correct way to do it. I think its supposed to be more artsy and harder to understand haha. Well derek didnt really get it, but Tanya got it right away so I still have no idea if its any good, I kinda like though :)

I Can't Fly

I have lingered on this tightrope
for so long
for so long
I've taken baby steps strait out the window
and I have recently learned that I can't fly

and when your falling through the air
you start to understand
some things were never there
some things were never planed

when I tend to lean to far in one direction
strait lines never get me there
and I have never been very fond of circles
in fact they're far worse then a square

I may allow myself around you one day
when I don't fear the suffocation of the others
a explosive ticking time bomb
that will detonate with words that smother

I have been scaling this mountain
everyday
everyday
and I have tried jumping off this tightrope
but I have recently learned that I can't fly

The Anarchy Hoedown

2008-03-12T11:28:52Z

I find it a bit ironic
when I see it printed on a shirt
that cool kids like to wear
on there way to a concert

completely oblivious
to what it really means
'cause they wouldn't shop at the mall
if they practiced anarchy

companies like to capitalize
on the ignorance of our youth
they saw it on the internet
so it must be the truth

I got it on this razor blade dog tag
and this matching cuff for my wrist
I am not just horribly emo
I also think I'm an anarchist

next time you see your friend with one
you might want to let them know
that they need a dictionary
and a new wardrobe

i am sorry to say
if the item was produced in a factory
you are actually going against
the real anarchy

so next time you buy that garment
all the money that you spent
to try to prove your an anarchist
will fund our government
HEY!

tired of thinking so much

2008-03-01T16:32:09Z

I keep thinking about life, because I cant sleep, and that is really the worst time to contemplate it so of course I cant seem to stop myself.
I just keep wondering why it has been so hard for me to be productive. I want so much more. and I feel like I was meant to do something great, but if that is infact true then why have there been so many obsticals along the way. am I really just using that as an excuse though? I mean I cant help but thinking that I would have been an amazing violinist right now if Chicago hadnt of happened. but is that true? should I have just excepted that I had to see my abusive father again and that my mom may have gone to jail, and had to live with that foster parent who hated me, and fight for nine months to get back 3 days before highschool started. should I have just picked the violin back up and try to live my life as if none of that had ever happened, some how get past the social anxiety and ended up actually graduating, instead of dropping out and thus by toss all of that potential out the window. I cant help but wonder wear I would be if those nine months hadnt of happened. but the simple fact is that they did and I have to live with that, and its sad that 7 years later I cant state that I am over it, because I am not.
I feel like so many years have been eaten away from my life and that I am just sitting here watching the rest of them go by because I am to afraid and ashamed of picking up where I should have been 7 years ago now.
after chicago, I have not since been the life of a party, or had a best friend, everything that used to come so easily has gotten considerably harder. and I am sitting here crying in front of a computer because there is no one to talk to except my husband, who already has enough stress in his life and will only get frustrated that he cant fix it.
and I a getting a new therapist but after 15 years I am starting to think that there isnt a professional out there smart enough to help me deal with what ever that crap I have.
my brain is broken, and I am not helping it by feeling sorry for myself.
its just really f***ing hard to deal with.

I'm BaaAaack

2008-02-29T09:30:10Z

Well I havent writing in this thing in years, so much has happened since then.
anyhoo, I think I have decided to become a writer, I mean I have always wanted to do writing on the side, but since it is taking me some time with the novels I am writing I didnt think that it would be a reasonable job. So I really just dismissed it, but after derek suggested to me, I looked at it in a different manner, thought I would continue with my poetry and novels and such that I could do writing in say magazine articles or small things in a newspaper perhaps as a realistic job. Then after some experience maybe someday write song lyrics and novels in a more professional capacity. Its a goal, finnally something that might actually be doable.

Silver Lining

2005-08-15T13:06:33Z

Well the bad news is that my cat of ten years has ran away, he has been gone for two weeks, I miss him dearly.
other then that this month seem to be looking up for me.
I got to go see Suzanne Vega in concert, and I got her autograph! I gave her a necklace and she said I had pretty hair, it was amazing; I started writing poetry because of her music.
also I am taking some coping classes, to try to straiten out my life. and I hope to go to more meetings, and be more active in my religion.
I also am going to start writing books for children about abuse, good touch bad touch, how to say no, its alright to tell, and all those messages that children need to know, hopefully once I get one or two written I will be able to get them published.
And some of my friends are gonna help me make a web site for my jewelry, so hopefully I can sell some of my stuff, and make more custom pieces, I am really excited about it.
so those are all my goals and things that I am doing.
I am not gonna let this beat me, I am going to get better...no,
I AM getting better!

if you are interested in looking at some of my jewelry, I don’t have the site yet but I have a few posted here
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/21757173/

I NEED to move Forward!

2005-04-05T07:52:21Z

I hate it when I don’t know what I am doing, I have made major progress, but I am still at a standstill in many parts of my life.
I need to get a real job. I mean I like to make jewelry and all, but its not really an income. there are so many things I want to do but road blocks all the way. I wish I could act, I am good at it, it’s a great release, but that isn't gonna happen, closest I would come is if they do in fact make my life into a TV movie, maybe I could get a part in it. and I love writing, 66 poems/lyrics and counting, 5 plays, 11 monologs and two novels that I am working on. but again I don’t see an income coming out of that.
I was thinking of studying forensic anthropology, and archeology, so I could be a Forensic Anthropologist, or at least in the basement of a museum cataloging inventory.
I just want to get out on my own, then eventually move to California. its to freaking hot here. I don’t know if its cause I am an anal perfectionist or what but I just feel like there are too many wholes in my plan, I just wish I knew what I was supposed to do, I guess everyone does, but I just seem more lost then them.
so until I figure it out I will just sit and write and go out of my mind.

-the redhead in the corner

my Teen People article

2005-02-06T06:54:25Z

well my Teen People article came out. page 86.
it was pretty good, its funny hearing your words as written by someone else, i would so never say "psyched" haha
i just hope that when others see my story, that it might give then hope if they are or have been in simular situations.
i still dont quite have closure on the whole thing, i am not sure i ever will, but i hope in the years to come that i will come closer to that.
life is slow at the moment, but i have a feeling that big things will happen soon.

-the redhead in the corner

life is a pain

2005-01-03T20:56:46Z

well i havent written in a while,
i really dont know what i am doing, i need to get on my feet and get a life already, i feel like i am going insane.
its not good for me to have to much time on my hands, i just overthink and over analyze everything, then i get frustrated and i feel like i will just explode. i have few friends and it seems that they are to busy to hang out with me...ever.
i have such a sad excuse for an existence. i am in love with a guy who doesnt know what he wants, but i am almost positive that he doesnt want me. and i never know where i stand with him.
my family seems to forget i exist, and my friends dont call me back.
i dont know what i am doing wrong, i use to be everyones confidant, i was the girl everyone went to for advice and a good laugh, the life of the party, now i am the girl people either avoid or forget.
i think that if i just get on track and start doing more not only will i meet new people but i will be more energized and efficient in other aspects of my life.
i think i need a swift kick in the rear.
well hopefully next time i write things will be a bit brighter, or at least on there way to getting there.

-the redhead in the corner